On September 10th, Kelsy celebrated her 27th birthday in Key West with her fiance Mo. We made a little tradition of breaking away to Key West with her and our other children during our spring break trips for St. Patrick’s Day and also for her 21st birthday back in 2017 and 2018. I love the outside atmosphere down there for food, drinks and live music.. If you’re ever in Key West I recommend grabbing a burger at Fogerty’s, hitting Fat Tuesday’s for a frozen drink and then watching live music at Sloppy Joes or the Schooner Wharf. September 12th was Charlotte’s 15th birthday. On Saturday September 14th she had a pool party with many new friends from high school and some excellent food from Q Crew BBQ.
Nineteen years ago on September 24th Patti birthed our 4th child Griffin. It was a very emotional silent birth. The night before Patti had noticed he(we didn’t know it was a he until he was born) stopped moving and sensed something was wrong. I tried to calm her down and recommended we go to the hospital first thing the next morning. Her friends she worked with there in labor and delivery helped her with the ultrasound machine and the doctor came in and Patti and I immediately discovered Griffin had no heartbeat. Her mid-wife Judy, who we used to deliver all of our children, quickly arrived and initiated the difficult process of birthing him. We had a tremendous amount of support from family, friends, neighbors and fellow parishioners. This was our first direct involvement with a funeral and we were so blessed to use director Vinny Scarponi of Scarponi-Bright Funeral Home. Vinny previously worked with Patti’s family to bury her brother Kenny after his tragic death. There was no charge for the services of such a young child, only a small charge for the casket and digging for Griffin to be buried on top of Kenny at the Lower Valley Cemetery in Califon. At this time Patti’s mom, dad, her sister’s in-laws and some of her parents’ best friends and neighbors are also buried there. Patti’s sister Tara has been managing that cemetery for the past few years and so I recently asked Patti to reserve plots for us there as well. The cemetery is well upkept and we have many memories of visiting my mom at Saint Ann’s cemetery in Hampton and then driving up scenic Hill Rd in Glen Gardner to Sliker Rd in Califon to this cemetery. At the time of Griffin’s birth Patti was involved in several home school and mothering groups. Some were local and met weekly. Others met annually and we tent camped with them at parks in Illinois, Ohio and Tennessee. That group was focused on running and started an annual low-key 5k run with-in the group on Griffin’s birthday for a few years. This got Patti more engaged in running and caused Patti and I to run the Philly Distance Run (a half marathon) twice which occurred around Griffin’s birthday. One year the run was on our anniversary September 21st. (We ran the race in 2007 and 2008)
September 26th this year marked the 18th anniversary of Patti’s mother Phyllis’s ‘ death. She was known as Nana to her grandchildren. Phyllis and her husband Ken (AKA Pop-Pop) lived in Plainfield, NJ when Patti was born and moved to High Bridge shortly afterwards. Phyllis worked in the laundry at the Hunterdon Medical Center (HMC) for the entire time she lived in High Bridge until her death.(she worked at the butcher department in the A&P first) She was a dedicated employee,often sleeping at the hospital during snow storms and covering for staff who would call out on major holidays. She would routinely drive up to Califon after work to help out with her grandchildren from Tara and Rick. After our first child Kelsy was born, Phyllis would watch Kelsy until I finished work, while Patti worked per-diem evenings at HMC. Phyllis continued to stop over our house after work most weekdays to watch our children until her death. Not only did she watch the children, she would tidy up and the dishes were always washed amongst many other things One time I came home from work to find one our little kids in the kitchen sink getting a bath. We started a tradition of having Christmas Eve at our house and Phyllis would invite anybody who had no plans. During the peak Christmas Eve parties we had all of my and Patti’s immediate family in attendance along with several neighbors of Ken and Phyllis, some of our neighbors, friends of Patti’s siblings and random co-workers of Phyllis who didn’t have a place to celebrate Christmas.. Ken had issues holding a steady job, but Phyllis worked hard to make ends meet. She was the master of the double coupon and manager of several Price Plus accounts at ShopRite to ensure every one of our families got their free turkey, ham or lasagna for Thanksgiving. Often she would find second hand.but brand new looking clothes for everyone including me from Top of the Barn, a church based thrift shop in Califon. She even found a $20 bill in a pair of second hand Khakis from there. If a commodity like Bounty paper towels were on sale, she would ensure all her kids’ families received some from her. We repaid her during Christmases by purchasing plane tickets for her to travel to Ireland to visit her family. Her entire family including her mom, two sisters, three brothers(1 brother was in England) and various cousins, nieces and nephews lived in County Cork and Galway. Her family along with Ken shared her kind heart and hospitality, which made for some incredible visits to Ireland for our family.
On October 2nd, Gabriel turned 18 and had a late night pool party and sleepover. He is the 4th adult child of ours and is currently applying to colleges and taking the SATs. Both Charlotte and Gabriel attended the Homecoming football game and dance at North Hunterdon High School, the same high school I graduated from back in 1991!
On October 17th I passed my CDL road test and now have a PA Class A commercial drivers license. With that class finished, I’m back full time at my Unicor warehouse job Mon-Fri and weekend days when I don’t have a visit. October 25th marked my 52nd birthday and some friends purchased a cheesecake and sang to me. (Patti edit-I asked a guy I talked to for a few weeks that surrendered the week before his birthday to try and make it special for him-this new world of friends from this journey we are all on are such kind people- the things these guys in prison can make with non perishable commissary items is amazing) At 8pm, I watched Tom Gun Maverick on my tablet while Patti and the kids watched at home. The next day some friends donated ingredients(Patti edit-another friend I connected with before he surrendered in February and Jim met him with me in September of 2023) while a friend cooked(with an iron) me a pastry dessert made out of a flour tortilla, Muddy Buddies, Hershey’s Special Dark chocolate and peanut butter. It tasted a bit like a chocolate croissant. Some folks like bananas so they added that to it as well. That weekend Kelsy, Mo, Connor, Gabriel, Charlotte and Patti visited me( only five can visit at a time so the four kids and Mo visited until noon on Saturday and then I visited until 2:45- then on Sunday I visited with Charlotte, Kelsy and Mo).
Connor’s lease to his apartment he was sharing with a friend in Bloomfield, NJ expired on October 31st. He has moved home for now, so we currently have 4 of the 5 children back at the house keeping Patti company and helping out with some domestic duties like cooking. Halloween was OK. Obviously no-one was dressing up at the camp. That evening I handed out two bags of mambas to friends and neighbors and wished them Happy Halloween in an attempt to lighten up their spirits. Last year Patti surprised me with a very fun dress up combination birthday-Halloween party with lots of family and friends. Our costumes were Maverick for me and Goose for Patti. Visits got canceled for contraband on November 2nd and 3rd, which was when my dad was scheduled to visit with Patti. My dad is 0 for 2 for visits over the past few months as Ed missed his flight on October 20th and he couldn’t visit that day, but is scheduled to visit this Saturday November 17th with my sister-in-law Svitlana. November 5th was election day and friends purchased another cheesecake to celebrate. Patti and two of our kids stayed up until after 3am to wait for the results. I decided to head to bed before 11pm since my mornings typically start before 6am. My sister Anne visited me with Patti on November 9th on her way through from Jackson, WY to Antigua. She tried visiting me in early July, but I was still in Essex County with no visits so she had to cancel and rebook her airline tickets. Patti visited both November 9th and 10th, attending Mass on Saturday evening ,going to Bull Run Tap House and staying at her go-to motel the Relax Inn on Saturday night. We watched reruns of Yellowstone since she had Paramount in the hotel in preparation for the new season that started on the 10th.
The cycle continues and they keep finding contraband (mostly phones and vapes) so there is currently a $15 per week limit on commissary for the next month. It doesn’t affect me much, but many others are disappointed. Especially some friends of mine who recently arrived and are unable to get basic things like sneakers and sweats. It is common for self surrender inmates who wore similar or the exact same sneakers they sell at the camp to not be allowed to take them in. Then the camp either doesn’t have their size or commissary limits prevent them from having sneakers for several weeks or months. One friend borrowed a pair of my work shoes over two months ago and still is unable to purchase sneakers. He would have begun running on the track to get in better shape, but can’t without sneakers. On a positive note, they finally opened the gym a few weeks ago, after closing it for 6 months, due to contraband. Unfortunately now my right shoulder is hurting during my free weight workouts. I guess all the chin-ups, pull-ups, chair dips, pushups and various lifts with cinder blocks at the outdoor gym area wore out my shoulder. I’m a bit rusty at my pool game, but am in the process of improving.(Pool is back open now that the gym is open) My bocce game is impressive, but due to limited light and cold weather the season is coming to an end.
Patti started working a second per-diem job at the Edna Mahon NJ state women’s prison in September, but quit after four weeks due to a poor orientation and a mean manager.(plus it was hard to see the girls in khakis, shackles and see them in cells with bars and such like Jim experienced in Essex County and Brooklyn)She continues to work per-diem at the Hunterdon County ARC and enjoys the more laid back work there.
This Thursday and Friday Patti and the kids are flying into Tampa for Kelsy and Mo’s wedding this Saturday November 16th in the Orlando area. I wish them a lifetime of happiness as they start the next stages of their lives together! They also will be moving from Riverview, FL to an apartment in downtown Denver starting December 1st. They wanted a change and I’m sure they will find it during the winter out there with the temperature difference. Also I heard from friends I used to work with that you feel the altitude at over 5000 feet if your cardio is not in top shape.
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